Life and Death in the Tongue

Life & Death in the Tongue

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths,

but only such as is good for building up,

as fits the occasion,

that it may give grace to those who hear.”

So, is it ever right to correct or criticize others? Is our message only a positive one? No! There is a right time & manner to correct or criticize. However, I’m writing this as one who has all too quickly & readily been critical. Some of us exult in & love confrontation. We are excited by scenes like Elijah facing off against 450 false prophets, or Christ denouncing the Pharisees for their hypocrisy. We loudly proclaim every man a liar, and then judge them for not sticking around long enough to hear about the Savior for liars. We must beware, lest we be double-tongued, praising God while blaspheming our fellow man. (James 3.9)

The Scriptures give much instruction in the area of correction & admonition, but that is a topic for another occasion. As we study Christ & the Apostles, we see that they were gracious & respectful to all men, and reserved the strong denouncements for only those who were actively opposing the Gospel. Even in correction, our words & manner ought to be full of love, grace & compassion with the desire to win the person (2Timothy 2.24-26), and not to offend (1Corinthians 10.31-33), as ambassadors of peace (2Corinthians 5.17-21). When we fail, we should repent to God & apologize to men (e.g., Acts 23.1-5). May God make us more like Christ, who was full of truth AND grace.

God has been very gracious in teaching me how the Gospel effects what I say, and changes my orientation towards him (from enemy to loving Father) and towards other people (from enemies to beloved brothers or lost people in a pitiable condition). May God give us faith to see his good hand at work in others, and give us thankful hearts & tongues to proclaim it. And by God-centered affirmations of other sinful men, may he make us his instruments a) to encourage & bless them; b) to point them to the true source of blessing; c) to whet their appetites to hear God saying to their faces, “Well done, good & faithful servants”; and d) all of this in order that praise & thanks might redound to his glory from multiplied worshippers.

Let me encourage you to read the book Practicing Affirmation by Sam Crabtree. Most of what I’ve written here I learned from his book. I praise God for teaching these things to Mr. Crabtree & leading him to write them in a book. God has blessed me tremendously through Mr. Crabtree, and corrected me. The book goes into much more detail than I could in this short space. It is very biblical & practical, and I count it among the top few books which have been most impactful to me personally. After reading it, I wrote letters of apology & affirmation to two people of whom I’ve been hyper-critical, harsh & unthankful.

Michael Pfleegor

Long term Missionary to Suriname 

Psalm 67 Missions Network

Life and Death in the Tongue

Life & Death in the Tongue

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths,

but only such as is good for building up,

as fits the occasion,

that it may give grace to those who hear.”

What kind of things are praise-worthy, which we might look for & then point out? If we consider just [1Corinthians 1.4-9; 1Thessalonians 1.2-10; and 2.13-3.13], we see that Paul praised them for: their utterance; knowledge; giftedness; receiving the testimony of Christ; anticipation of Christ’s coming; good works springing from faith & love; patient hope in Christ; belief of the Gospel; assurance of faith; following Paul & company’s example; following Christ; enduring afflictions with joy; being examples to other believers; widespread evangelism; their renown as people who trust God; receiving the truth as from God, not men; suffering in a godly way; being like others saints; enduring the temptation of suffering while remaining steadfast in faith; their faith & love; good remembrance of Paul & company; and their desire to see Paul & company. Wow! All of that from just a handful of verses. I get the idea Paul was full of praise & encouragement.

Can we rightly & honestly give praise to deeply flawed, sinful men? First, that is the only kind of men there are. Second, is it not our hope, as believers in Christ, that we will one day receive the praise of Christ: “Well done, good & faithful servant!”? Yet, we know that our acceptance before God is not based on our obedience, but upon Christ alone; and any good we do has been worked in & through us by the Spirit of grace. Therefore, we have no ground for boasting. Nevertheless, we should serve the Lord with joy & vigor & anticipation of his praise. Third, God praises deeply flawed, sinful men. Of whom did God say that he’s “a man after his own heart” (1Samuel 13.14)? And yet, God knew full well what that man would do. And God praised Abraham (Genesis 18.19), who would go on to lie & dishonor God before Gentiles. And God praised Solomon to his face (2Chronicles 1.11,12). And Jesus praised Nathanael to others in his own hearing (John 1.45-49). Praising the good does not excuse sin; on the contrary, it affirms what is right & good & beautiful—what is God really like—it is to praise God. And to praise what is God-like is to do what is God-like, for God praises his own virtues & is worthy of it.

The Gospel changes us, reorients us, and empowers us to a new life. Instead of condemnation, God speaks peace to us in Christ.

“Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and cry to her that her warfare is ended, that her iniquity is pardoned, that she has received from the Lord's hand double for all her sins.” (Isaiah 40.1,2) He doesn’t call us what we are naturally, but lovingly calls us what we are only by his grace—“Sons”! (1John 3.1) He says to each of our souls: “I am your salvation.” (Psalm 35.3) And he promises never to leave nor forsake us. (Hebrews 13.5) How encouraging God is to us, and how we need it. Moreover, God floods us with his grace, not merely that we might be filled, but that we might be his servants to carry his blessing to others, and thus increase his praise. (Genesis 12.1-3; Matthew 10.8; 2Corinthians 4.15; 9.10-12) One of the ways we bless others is by encouragement, particularly encouragement which points them to God. By giving God-centered & Christ-centered affirmations, we become God’s instruments to encourage others, his servants to build up & dispense his grace (see our text Ephesians 4.29). To do otherwise is to grieve the Holy Spirit (v. 30). So because God encourages us, and because he makes us his glad conduits of his blessing, let us encourage others. When our affirmations are God-centered, they point others to the real source of encouragement, joy & peace. And when, by God’s grace, they look to God in faith & receive his grace, then they return thanks & praise to him, which is the end of all things. Nevertheless, we have the opportunity—no, the privilege—to be God’s means of the glorification of himself & the encouragement of others.

Michael Pfleegor

Long term Missionary to Suriname 

Psalm 67 Missions Network